Have you ever wondered why relationships are not lasting a lifetime like the old days?
At first, the idea of a lifetime together excited you both enough to get rid of all your lovers and friends. However, after the honeymoon stage, it seems you spend your life living on the feelings of the initial love high. As if trapped in a fairytale falsely embedded in your memory.
During childhood, we are shaped by many beliefs about relationships. We must adjust preconceptions about relationships as adults to build with a partner. Managing the relationship is the responsibility of both partners. Each person is responsible for their actions in how they manage the relationship.
I believe relationships can last a lifetime, but we must work to ensure the relationship's longevity. This article will travel beyond the surface of relationship issues, provide tips, and slanted views (examples) to navigate the reality of love in the new age.
The 7 Ways
1. Unspoken Sacrifices (The Bridge)
Communicating your past can provide context to some of your more questionable behaviors. People often lock their dark history deep inside themselves. When you communicate, it allows your partner to be more understanding of some of your actions. I know this is not an easy task, but it is beneficial to the relationship to reveal your layers to your partner organically. Your vulnerability will help your partner to be open as well. You are the captain of your process, so be open and honest with yourself first to avoid unhealthy situations.
Slanted View:
Jessica and Dave met for brunch on the bridge in the middle of their cities. Jessica’s journey from her city to the bridge differed from Dave’s. When they arrived for brunch, Jessica naturally catered to David, although she was extremely upset about being disrespected at work. Dave’s journey to the bridge was tough too, but he downplayed his emotions because men are taught to be macho. Jessica expressed the frustration of her day to Dave as they shared a pizza. Dave handed her the last slice and said, “You deserve this more than me today.” Although the gesture was small, it put a smile on Jessica’s face. Dave was able to be compassionate towards Jessica’s mood because she communicated.
2. The Blind Advantage (Leverage)
The balance of power can be vital to the survival of the unity. What would you have to offer your partner if your best quality were taken away? You may be blessed with natural beauty, but you must be careful not to live in a self-absorbed bubble. It is essential to acknowledge your blessings to achieve growth and enhance other qualities about yourself. Humbleness is key!
Slanted View:
Justin and Tonya were a young married couple from a small town in Florida. Justin had a high level of confidence in the relationship because all the girls in town loved him. Justin’s ego deflated quickly when the couple later moved to a bigger city. Justin hated that Tonya was career-driven with access to high-powered professionals in the city. Justin knew the incarceration rate for black men in his hometown was high, and he felt this fact lowered Tonya's options for a partner. Now that they live in the city, Justin struggles not to question Tonya's every move.
3. The Common Goal (Connecting Outside of Sex)
Common goals create conversations, and teamwork builds camaraderie. You must be aligned with your goals to create the bond you need to get through hard times.
To be honest, sex may be the main reason many couples decided to be together. I know other things brought you together, but ultimately it was the euphoria of sexual freedom you felt.
Slanted View:
Tasha and Nathan were fighting about silly relationship stuff for weeks. However, Nathan was graduating in a few days with his doctoral degree. He was more excited about that. Tasha swallowed her pride although they were fighting, and went to stores during her lunch breaks to find the perfect gift for Nathan. Having special moments to look forward to can make you forget about the small fights and value the moment. The smile on Nathan’s face was more important than a petty argument.
Conclusion
There should be a mutual understanding of each person’s expectations to build and maintain a healthy relationship in the new age.
The reality of love always supersedes the fairytale. That is why you must choose to fight for your relationship even when it gets tough.
It is time to make forever mean forever again.
